As we began our adoption journey we have always been interested in adopting a child with special needs. This past month we decided it was time to submit the required paperwork to adopt a child with special needs or as our agency more fondly calls it, Children of Promise (COP). Of course this begs the questions of why we decided to go down this path, what special needs are we considering, and how does this affect the timeline? We'll do our best to answer all these questions in this post.
As our boys grown older we feel our hearts have been led down the path to adopting a child with special placement needs. With so many resources available to us because of where we live and what Beth does for a living, we feel we're in position to offer a child with special needs a home and environment where all their needs can be properly addressed and they can be loved and supported. We also feel that it is selfish for us to wait and wait for a "non-special needs" child when there are so many COP's out there waiting to be adopted. We're in a position to offer them so much.
However, being that we already have 2 children (with their own issues) we realize there are limitations as to how much we can take on. For that reason, we are only able to consider children with minor physical conditions. This would include such conditions as a minor heart condition, extra or missing digits, or asthma to name a few. We also want to ensure that our daughter (we still only want a girl) is at least one grade level behind our youngest so we are only considering girls born after September 1, 2008.
What does this mean for our wait? Matching children with special needs is done a little differently than for non special needs. The actual matching is done by the adoption agency rather than the CCAA and the primary thing they look at what family is the best fit for a particular child. The main difference is that while the LID is taken into consideration it is not the most important factor so families can jump ahead of other families if they are a better match for that child. What this means for us is that the wait could be considerably shorter although not necessarily so. We could still get matched with a non special needs child if our turn comes up on that list before we are matched from the COP list. However, with what's been going on, this is highely unlikely.
As for the updates, we will continue to provide them but bear in mind they are for the non special needs list. We have no way of projecting a wait for the COP list.
Now for the update.
As of 1/13 here's our "non special needs" wait statistics:
Referred through: 4/3/2006
Current wait: 45 months
Projected referral date: 2/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections
Showing posts with label reasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reasons. Show all posts
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Our Adoption Journey Post #2: Why International?
We have often been asked why did we choose to adopt from China? Why not some other country or why not from the U.S?
This is a 2 post answer so in this post we'll address why we did not choose to adopt domestically and we'll discuss why we choose China over other countries in a future post.
From an adoptive parents perspective there are a few reasons we did not consider domestic adoption. One is cost. As much as an international adoption costs, domestic adoption costs significantly more. This is because in the U.S. we have these people called lawyers and the legal fees (and other costs such as the birth mom's medical expenses) for domestic adoption are quite considerable. The other reason we did not consider domestic adoption is because the adoption laws in the U.S. favor birth parents. This means that a child could be placed with us and live with us for awhile and then if the birth mother changes her mind, she could legally take the child back. As much as we can understand (but not agree with) the need for this type of law, we cannot fathom the possibility of getting a child only to have her taken away from us a short time later. It would be emotionally devasting to us. In addition, it would be a financial hardship for us because in such cases the adoptive parents do not get their money back.
Now for the update.
As of 12/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/31/2006
Current wait: 44 months
Projected referral date: 1/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections
This is a 2 post answer so in this post we'll address why we did not choose to adopt domestically and we'll discuss why we choose China over other countries in a future post.
From an adoptive parents perspective there are a few reasons we did not consider domestic adoption. One is cost. As much as an international adoption costs, domestic adoption costs significantly more. This is because in the U.S. we have these people called lawyers and the legal fees (and other costs such as the birth mom's medical expenses) for domestic adoption are quite considerable. The other reason we did not consider domestic adoption is because the adoption laws in the U.S. favor birth parents. This means that a child could be placed with us and live with us for awhile and then if the birth mother changes her mind, she could legally take the child back. As much as we can understand (but not agree with) the need for this type of law, we cannot fathom the possibility of getting a child only to have her taken away from us a short time later. It would be emotionally devasting to us. In addition, it would be a financial hardship for us because in such cases the adoptive parents do not get their money back.
Now for the update.
As of 12/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/31/2006
Current wait: 44 months
Projected referral date: 1/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Our Adoption Journey Post #1: Why adoption?
As promised we're going to have a few posts on our adoption journey. We'll take you through why we decided upon adoption, why we chose China, why we chose our agency as well as our trek through the process itself. For this first post, we'll answer the basic question of why expand our family through adoption?
Every since childhood Beth has wanted to adopt a child. She has always believed that it is something that G-d has wanted her to do. For Howard, adoption was never something he had given serious thought to until he met Beth. As our relationship developed and we moved closer to marriage the topic of children was discussed. We both agreed that we wanted more than one child but no more than three. We also agreed that it would be nice to have at least one boy and one girl although Beth really really wanted a girl. The next item to be discussed was how we were going to bring these children into our lives and this is where the topic of adoption came up.
After much discussion we decided to first have biological children and then look into adoption. In 2005 we had our first child, Benjamin. It was a difficult and high risk pregnancy. Beth was sick for 7 months to the point that she was put on anti-nausea medication. At 36+ weeks, Beth developed HELLP syndrome and since her life was at risk they did an emergency induction and Benjamin was born. Luckily, he was relatively healthy (just a short visit to the NICU) and Beth recovered.
Maybe with this first pregnancy G-d was trying to tell us something (like to adopt) but we didn't listen and were pregnant again with #2 in late 2007. The second pregnancy went better that the first but it was not without its problems. There were some complications along the way but nothing too serious. Beth was only nauseous for 5 months this time. When it came time to find out the sex we were hoping for a girl (especially Beth) but it seems G-d had other plans. A few months later Eli was born but not without excitement.
As difficult as pregnancy #1 was, labor & delivery was relatively easy. Eli however, had his own agenda. This delivery was not so easy, actually it was really difficult and we were very close to an emergency C section. Thankfully, it did not come to that and our Eli was born. He was healthy and Beth was exhausted.
At this moment that we understood that if we were going to have any more children it was not going to be biologically as G-d had made it pretty clear that Beth was not meant to get pregnant again. It was then that we decided our next family addition will be through adoption.
Story to be continued in a future post...
Now for the update.
As of 10/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/28/2006
Current wait: 43 months
Projected referral date: 11/13/2012
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections
Every since childhood Beth has wanted to adopt a child. She has always believed that it is something that G-d has wanted her to do. For Howard, adoption was never something he had given serious thought to until he met Beth. As our relationship developed and we moved closer to marriage the topic of children was discussed. We both agreed that we wanted more than one child but no more than three. We also agreed that it would be nice to have at least one boy and one girl although Beth really really wanted a girl. The next item to be discussed was how we were going to bring these children into our lives and this is where the topic of adoption came up.
After much discussion we decided to first have biological children and then look into adoption. In 2005 we had our first child, Benjamin. It was a difficult and high risk pregnancy. Beth was sick for 7 months to the point that she was put on anti-nausea medication. At 36+ weeks, Beth developed HELLP syndrome and since her life was at risk they did an emergency induction and Benjamin was born. Luckily, he was relatively healthy (just a short visit to the NICU) and Beth recovered.
Maybe with this first pregnancy G-d was trying to tell us something (like to adopt) but we didn't listen and were pregnant again with #2 in late 2007. The second pregnancy went better that the first but it was not without its problems. There were some complications along the way but nothing too serious. Beth was only nauseous for 5 months this time. When it came time to find out the sex we were hoping for a girl (especially Beth) but it seems G-d had other plans. A few months later Eli was born but not without excitement.
As difficult as pregnancy #1 was, labor & delivery was relatively easy. Eli however, had his own agenda. This delivery was not so easy, actually it was really difficult and we were very close to an emergency C section. Thankfully, it did not come to that and our Eli was born. He was healthy and Beth was exhausted.
At this moment that we understood that if we were going to have any more children it was not going to be biologically as G-d had made it pretty clear that Beth was not meant to get pregnant again. It was then that we decided our next family addition will be through adoption.
Story to be continued in a future post...
Now for the update.
As of 10/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/28/2006
Current wait: 43 months
Projected referral date: 11/13/2012
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Blog Description
I have nothing to update today as our dossier is still at the Chinese Consulate being authenticated. However, I wanted to explain some of the links I have setup on the lefthand side of the blog.
Currently, I have posted links to 2 other blogs in the "adoption links" section. The Rumor Queen blog is authored by this woman known as "The Rumor Queen" who adopted from China a ways back. She setup this website to track the wait for a referral based on several factors when she was waiting for her own referral. She has proven to be fairly accurate and decided to keep the site going after bringing her daughter home from China. This is our main source of information when we post updates on the wait. According to her site, they just referred babies to families who had LID (login dates) of March 7-8, 2006. Hence, that is why I am saying the current wait is 36 months. If you can't wait for our update check out her site. The site also has lots of good information for adoptive parents (from China) as well as forums on China adoption.
The Bethany China Blog is our adoption agency's blog on China Adoption. The blog also has updates on referrals but is mainly concentrated on adoptions related to Bethany families. It also has been a good source of information for us.
Our intention with this blog is to not only keep everyone updated on our situation but also go back and recant our experiences going through the paperwork as well as our reasonings for many of the adoption related decisions we made. We are planning posts on such topics as why we are adopting, why we choose China, why we choose Bethany and so forth. We'll try to post something at least once a month but that is sure to increase as we get closer! If there is any question you might have please feel free to ask us. We also welcome comments!
Currently, I have posted links to 2 other blogs in the "adoption links" section. The Rumor Queen blog is authored by this woman known as "The Rumor Queen" who adopted from China a ways back. She setup this website to track the wait for a referral based on several factors when she was waiting for her own referral. She has proven to be fairly accurate and decided to keep the site going after bringing her daughter home from China. This is our main source of information when we post updates on the wait. According to her site, they just referred babies to families who had LID (login dates) of March 7-8, 2006. Hence, that is why I am saying the current wait is 36 months. If you can't wait for our update check out her site. The site also has lots of good information for adoptive parents (from China) as well as forums on China adoption.
The Bethany China Blog is our adoption agency's blog on China Adoption. The blog also has updates on referrals but is mainly concentrated on adoptions related to Bethany families. It also has been a good source of information for us.
Our intention with this blog is to not only keep everyone updated on our situation but also go back and recant our experiences going through the paperwork as well as our reasonings for many of the adoption related decisions we made. We are planning posts on such topics as why we are adopting, why we choose China, why we choose Bethany and so forth. We'll try to post something at least once a month but that is sure to increase as we get closer! If there is any question you might have please feel free to ask us. We also welcome comments!
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