Our Adoption Journey Post #3: Why China?

We've already discussed why we chose international adoption, but why did we choose China? There are a few reasons why we picked China over other countries such as Russia and Ethiopia. These reasons include: the established adoption process in China, a higher level of prenatal health in China, and China's rich history and culture.

The adoption process is China is fairly standardized and relatively transparent. By this we mean that you know how the process is generally going to work and what to expect from beginning to end. An important aspect of this is that when you get a referral you can be certain that the information provided to you by the orphanage on the child although limited is fairly accurate. They're not going to mislead you. This is not true in all countries. The recent incident involving a Tennessee mother and adopted Russian boy highlights this issue.

To briefly summarize this incident; this mother adopted a 7 year boy from Russia who turned out to have severe psychological issues that the orphanage did not fully disclose. This mother deciding that she couldn't parent this child response was to send the child back to Russia on a plane by himself. First, let us say the mother was absolutely wrong in doing this and should be criminally charged. It is understandable that she could not parent this child, but to do what she did was cruel, selfish, and irresponsible. There were other options she could have chosen that she didn't even bother to explore. That being said, this illustrates some of the risks with adopting from Russia. It is true that Russian orphanages are not always honest in the information they disclose about the children in their care. There is also a fair amount of "donations" that one must pay to adopt a child from Russia. Often a family does not know the amount or number of these "donations" until they get to Russia. In contrast, for China you know ahead of time that you will have to make one donation to the orphanage and how much it is expected to be for.

Another reason we chose China is because of the high level of prenatal care in China. Since most birth mothers do not plan to give up their children until after they have them (that's a whole different topic) they take good care of themselves. There are few problems with drug and alcohol abuse. In contrast, in countries such as Russia there is a high level of prenatal alcohol syndrome among other health problems.

Another aspect of China that's always intrigued us is its rich history and culture. From Chinese New Year to the ancient Chinese dynasties to the Moon Festival, China is a very fascinating country. It has a long storied history and many unique cultural events and related effects. We look forward to sharing all this with our future daughter.

We realize in this post we do highlight alot of problems Russian adoption. We do this not to scare people or criticize families who have adopted from Russia (except the one mentioned earlier) but to highlight why we did not choose Russia for ourselves. We often get asked why we did not pick Russia and often they are really asking why didn't you adopt from a country where the child is going to look like you. For us it does not matter that our future daughter will not share our physical characteristics. Actually, it might even be a good thing. Every family has to make the choices that are best for them and China is best for us.


Now for the update.

As of 4/13/2010 here's our "non special needs" wait statistics:

Referred through: 4/17/2006
Current wait: 48 months
Projected referral date: 4/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 36

In the Review Room!

Based on recent portal updates on the CCAA website they have now reviewed dossiers logged in through April 2009. Since our dossier was logged in May 2009, this means that they are reviewing ours as we write this. This is the step in the process where CCAA reviews all of our paperwork and approves, rejects, or asks questions concerning our dossier. While getting approved through the review room does not get us any closer to a referral it is an important step in the overall process. So far, we have not been informed of any questions they might have so cross your fingers! In this situation no news is good news. Once they announce that dossiers have been reviewed through the end of May 2009 (or later) we'll know that we're through!



On another note, The Washington Post recently published an interesting article on special needs adoption from China. This is something we can very much relate to and if you're interested you can click here.



Finally, we'll save the wait update for our next post but I wanted to mention that Congress did extend the Adoption Tax Credit (see our last post) for another year. It was included in the recent health care legislation. It doesn't go as far as making the credit permament as we would have liked to see but does keep it going for the time being. Rest assured, next year when it's up for renewal again we'll have another post on the issue.

Nothing new on the wait, will update the stats with the next post.

The Federal Adoption Tax Credit

The adoption tax credit went into effect in 1997 as part of the 1996 Small Business Jobs Protection Act. It was due to expire in 2001 but was extended as part of the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001 which also upped the credit from $5,000 to $10,000. However, this credit is due to expire on December 31, 2010 unless Congress takes action.

As you all know adoption is very expensive. I won't go into specifics but the cost is far more than the $10,000 credit. This tax credit helps make a significant financial burden a little bit easier not just for us but for other adoptive families as well.

There are several bipartisan proposals that have been introduced in both the House and Senate that will extend this tax credit. S 2816 and HR 213 introduced in the Senate by Sen. Jim Bunning and Sen. Ben Nelson and in the House by Rep. Joe Wilson, would make the tax credits permanent and expand the current credit. Please write your Senators and Representatives to urge them to vote for these proposals. Click on the widget below to be taken to a website that will direct you to your Representative.

Click here for more information on the Federal Adoption Tax Credit courtesy of the National Council for Adoption.







Now for the update.

As of 3/11/2010 here's our "non special needs" wait statistics:

Referred through: 4/11/2006
Current wait: 47 months
Projected referral date: 4/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 37


Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections.

No adoption news but lots of snow!

No news on the adoption front this month but boy did we get snow! First, we got hit with Snowmageddon and a whopping 38 inches of snow. Our town of Elkridge, MD seems to have been the epicenter of this first storm as we made the national news! All we can say is that 38 inches is a lot of snow to shovel.

You might have noticed that I said first storm in the above paragraph. That's because we got a second storm a few days later! Another 12 inches of snow and nowhere to put it.

See pictures below of our house and street! Update follows.





























Now for the update.

As of 2/13/2010 here's our "non special needs" wait statistics:

Referred through: 4/5/2006
Current wait: 46 months
Projected referral date: 3/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 37


Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections

Changing Direction

As we began our adoption journey we have always been interested in adopting a child with special needs. This past month we decided it was time to submit the required paperwork to adopt a child with special needs or as our agency more fondly calls it, Children of Promise (COP). Of course this begs the questions of why we decided to go down this path, what special needs are we considering, and how does this affect the timeline? We'll do our best to answer all these questions in this post.

As our boys grown older we feel our hearts have been led down the path to adopting a child with special placement needs. With so many resources available to us because of where we live and what Beth does for a living, we feel we're in position to offer a child with special needs a home and environment where all their needs can be properly addressed and they can be loved and supported. We also feel that it is selfish for us to wait and wait for a "non-special needs" child when there are so many COP's out there waiting to be adopted. We're in a position to offer them so much.

However, being that we already have 2 children (with their own issues) we realize there are limitations as to how much we can take on. For that reason, we are only able to consider children with minor physical conditions. This would include such conditions as a minor heart condition, extra or missing digits, or asthma to name a few. We also want to ensure that our daughter (we still only want a girl) is at least one grade level behind our youngest so we are only considering girls born after September 1, 2008.

What does this mean for our wait? Matching children with special needs is done a little differently than for non special needs. The actual matching is done by the adoption agency rather than the CCAA and the primary thing they look at what family is the best fit for a particular child. The main difference is that while the LID is taken into consideration it is not the most important factor so families can jump ahead of other families if they are a better match for that child. What this means for us is that the wait could be considerably shorter although not necessarily so. We could still get matched with a non special needs child if our turn comes up on that list before we are matched from the COP list. However, with what's been going on, this is highely unlikely.

As for the updates, we will continue to provide them but bear in mind they are for the non special needs list. We have no way of projecting a wait for the COP list.

Now for the update.

As of 1/13 here's our "non special needs" wait statistics:


Referred through: 4/3/2006

Current wait: 45 months

Projected referral date: 2/13/2013

Projected months remaining to referral: 37




Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections

Our Adoption Journey Post #2: Why International?

We have often been asked why did we choose to adopt from China? Why not some other country or why not from the U.S?

This is a 2 post answer so in this post we'll address why we did not choose to adopt domestically and we'll discuss why we choose China over other countries in a future post.

From an adoptive parents perspective there are a few reasons we did not consider domestic adoption. One is cost. As much as an international adoption costs, domestic adoption costs significantly more. This is because in the U.S. we have these people called lawyers and the legal fees (and other costs such as the birth mom's medical expenses) for domestic adoption are quite considerable. The other reason we did not consider domestic adoption is because the adoption laws in the U.S. favor birth parents. This means that a child could be placed with us and live with us for awhile and then if the birth mother changes her mind, she could legally take the child back. As much as we can understand (but not agree with) the need for this type of law, we cannot fathom the possibility of getting a child only to have her taken away from us a short time later. It would be emotionally devasting to us. In addition, it would be a financial hardship for us because in such cases the adoptive parents do not get their money back.

Now for the update.
As of 12/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/31/2006
Current wait: 44 months
Projected referral date: 1/13/2013
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections

What's in an identity?

We recently published an article in the boys preschool (Bet Yeladim's) monthly newsletter about providing a Jewish identity to our children. As the article points out, Baby China Girl will have three identities: Jewish, American, and Chinese but which one is the most important? The article speaks for itself so enjoy! The monthly update follows the article.

Providing our Children with a Jewish Identity
by Beth & Howard Krakower

Our family is expanding! We are in the process of adopting a little girl from China. Since it’s going to be a few years before we will be matched with a child and can bring her home we have time to plan and do some thinking. One issue we have given considerable thought to is how to instill an identity on our future daughter. She’s going to be a Jewish American of Chinese birth, a fairly unique set of identities but which one should be emphasized the most? The answer to us is simple and no different than the answer for our two biological boys, and that is being Jewish first. Of course, as she grows up and becomes an adult she will choose how she wants to be identified but as her parents it is our duty to provide the foundation. We plan on providing her with a strong Jewish identity in the same way we are with our boys. That is through exposure to Jewish culture, a Jewish education, and an appreciation for Israel.

Our children are primarily exposed to Jewish culture by celebrating the Jewish Holidays. Celebrating the holidays for us includes attending services during the high holidays and occasionally on Shabbat and spending time with family. While not all Jews might attend services we feel it is important to expose our children to the more religious aspects of the holidays. Spending time with family usually means taking time out of our busy lives to visit with relatives and eating a lot of good Jewish food. These family gatherings can vary in size from a small handful to dozens depending on which side of the family we are visiting for that particular holiday. It usually involves feasting on such yummy foods as matzo ball soup, gefilte fish, hamentashen, among others. These festive meals are embedded in Jewish culture whether or not one attends services.

Our children are also exposed to Jewish culture through a solid Jewish education which helps to further build their Jewish identity. This education started with sending them to Bet Yeladim. By providing a solid Jewish education at a preschool level Bet Yeladim will give our children the knowledge and appreciation of the Jewish holidays, customs, and traditions that they need to identify themselves as being Jewish. Once they leave Bet Yeladim (will be a sad day in our house) their Jewish education will continue with Hebrew School at our synagogue and culminate with their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs when they turn 13. After that it will be up to them to decide how they are going to continue their Jewish education. Hopefully, we will have helped them establish a strong enough Jewish identity that they will want to continue their Jewish studies after their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs.

We’d like to conclude with a question that was asked of one of us in an 8th grade social studies class. The question posed was “Are you a Jewish American or an American of the Jewish Descent?” It wasn’t the question so much its context that aroused interest as the teacher asked other students similar questions but substituting ethnic backgrounds (i.e. Italian, Chinese, Irish etc) in the question posed to them. Originally, some of us Jewish students were offended that the teacher was grouping being “Jewish” a religion, in with various ethnic non-religious backgrounds. Now as an adult looking back on that discussion, we realize that being “Jewish” is more than just a religious background, it is our identity.


Now for the update.
As of 11/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/28/2006
Current wait: 44 months
Projected referral date: 12/13/2012
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections