What's in an identity?

We recently published an article in the boys preschool (Bet Yeladim's) monthly newsletter about providing a Jewish identity to our children. As the article points out, Baby China Girl will have three identities: Jewish, American, and Chinese but which one is the most important? The article speaks for itself so enjoy! The monthly update follows the article.

Providing our Children with a Jewish Identity
by Beth & Howard Krakower

Our family is expanding! We are in the process of adopting a little girl from China. Since it’s going to be a few years before we will be matched with a child and can bring her home we have time to plan and do some thinking. One issue we have given considerable thought to is how to instill an identity on our future daughter. She’s going to be a Jewish American of Chinese birth, a fairly unique set of identities but which one should be emphasized the most? The answer to us is simple and no different than the answer for our two biological boys, and that is being Jewish first. Of course, as she grows up and becomes an adult she will choose how she wants to be identified but as her parents it is our duty to provide the foundation. We plan on providing her with a strong Jewish identity in the same way we are with our boys. That is through exposure to Jewish culture, a Jewish education, and an appreciation for Israel.

Our children are primarily exposed to Jewish culture by celebrating the Jewish Holidays. Celebrating the holidays for us includes attending services during the high holidays and occasionally on Shabbat and spending time with family. While not all Jews might attend services we feel it is important to expose our children to the more religious aspects of the holidays. Spending time with family usually means taking time out of our busy lives to visit with relatives and eating a lot of good Jewish food. These family gatherings can vary in size from a small handful to dozens depending on which side of the family we are visiting for that particular holiday. It usually involves feasting on such yummy foods as matzo ball soup, gefilte fish, hamentashen, among others. These festive meals are embedded in Jewish culture whether or not one attends services.

Our children are also exposed to Jewish culture through a solid Jewish education which helps to further build their Jewish identity. This education started with sending them to Bet Yeladim. By providing a solid Jewish education at a preschool level Bet Yeladim will give our children the knowledge and appreciation of the Jewish holidays, customs, and traditions that they need to identify themselves as being Jewish. Once they leave Bet Yeladim (will be a sad day in our house) their Jewish education will continue with Hebrew School at our synagogue and culminate with their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs when they turn 13. After that it will be up to them to decide how they are going to continue their Jewish education. Hopefully, we will have helped them establish a strong enough Jewish identity that they will want to continue their Jewish studies after their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs.

We’d like to conclude with a question that was asked of one of us in an 8th grade social studies class. The question posed was “Are you a Jewish American or an American of the Jewish Descent?” It wasn’t the question so much its context that aroused interest as the teacher asked other students similar questions but substituting ethnic backgrounds (i.e. Italian, Chinese, Irish etc) in the question posed to them. Originally, some of us Jewish students were offended that the teacher was grouping being “Jewish” a religion, in with various ethnic non-religious backgrounds. Now as an adult looking back on that discussion, we realize that being “Jewish” is more than just a religious background, it is our identity.


Now for the update.
As of 11/13 here's our wait statistics:
Referred through: 3/28/2006
Current wait: 44 months
Projected referral date: 12/13/2012
Projected months remaining to referral: 37
Remember, these are simple projections based on extrapolating the current wait forward. Check out the Rumor Queen (link at top) for more thorough projections